Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Letting Go

When I first took over guild-leadership of my guild from my boyfriend, I was relatively certain I could do it. Unfortunately, as time went on, I found that it was not to be. Being a Guild Leader requires a lot of time and energy to devote to the guild, and I had neither; my work schedule makes it near-impossible to be online during peak hours and even on my days off I am prone to hanging out on different servers, alt'ing around-- that's just how I am.

It got to the point where I would log on and people would ask me about guild ranks, the guild bank, or other important stuff and I would have to say "...I don't know." It was rather embarrassing. The guild leader doesn't know what's going on with her guild? It was true, though. It worried me a lot; I felt like I was doing a poor job as Guild Leader. And on top of that, I have never been much of a "Leader" type person. All that stress was making it hard for me to enjoy the game.

So, not too long ago, I made a thread on our guild forums stating that I was resigning from guild leadership. A good friend and long-time officer has taken over for me. I'm glad that it was able to work out that way, because I feel that a lot of pressure has been taken off of me, but it's also awkward to watch, at the same time.

The face of the guild has changed a lot in the past few months. People that defined the guild in the early days have left and new people have come. We have had an official "guild clear" of Karazhan now-- which I couldn't attend, because our raid times fall during my work hours-- and now that I think about it I don't think a single person who was in that recent "guild clear" was part of that initial group of us that started raiding way back in the beginning. It's kind of weird and very surreal to think about.

My officers basically took over for me a few months ago when I made it clear that I wouldn't be around very often, and now that I have stepped down, it has been made even more official: ranks have changed, guild policies have changed, this guild is no longer at least partially "my" guild the way it was back when my boyfriend and I were co-leading it. I'm not going to say it's a bad change, and I do think the officers are doing a solid job-- but it's very different, and somewhat awkward to deal with.

It's hard to say what Tawyn's future is at this point; what the guild's future is and whether the two of them will continue to coincide. A part of me would like to try to squeeze into more raids and at least get Epic'd out before WotLK hits, so I can say I did it; another part of me knows that will be hard to do with my schedule and sort of doesn't really care enough to work around it. We will just have to see.

Now I promise it's not all doom'n'gloom, in fact, mostly I've been having a blast. I still adore the game and my hunters and I am excited about the prospect of my second level 70. Thinking back on it, after the initial "Just-dinged-70-funk" wore off, the process of getting geared for Karazhan was one of my most enjoyable experiences in WoW and I'm looking forward to doing it again.

And in other news, I still don't have a Beta invite yet. Not that I'm dying for one-- in fact I feel like I have too much left to do in Burning Crusade to focus on Beta-- (not to mention a lot of awesome hunter blogs have been thoroughly covering it already; I like being one of the remaining non-Beta hunter blogs) but gosh, I'm starting to feel like the kid Blizz picked last in gym class! =P

10 comments:

Stupid Mage said...

You made the right decision for yourself and your guild. Be proud of the fact that you did so well while it lasted.

Even if you're not posting Rash stuff no worries. Lots of people still haven't gotten to 70 and need the content that you're posting.

Viktel said...

It takes a lot of gumption to do whats best for the group sometimes.

Congrats on being a wise leader and handing over the reigns.

Integrity of character, thats what its all about.

Tchann said...

I hear you on the beta key thing. It doesn't mean as much now as it did a month ago, since so little time is now left, but it certainly stung a bit when my husband got his invite. And then a week after that, his video card bricked and now he can't play at all. >.<

Daniel said...

I know the spot you are coming from. Being a leader is a hard job and I admire people who are able to do it, even for a limited amount of time. It's nice to hear that you were willing to put your guild first and that you are still having a blast with the game. :D

I know in the expansion I want to try and raid with some real-life friends, or at least a more tightly-knit group of people.

krizzlybear said...

grats on being able to have that experience of leading a guild; not everyone has the opportunity to do so, even if it is for a temporary duration.

sonvar said...

It happens. Sometimes a guild just wants more out of ya then you can give. Just don't let stepping out of leadership make you any less active in it though.

MW said...

That sounds like a tough decision. I hope that you can still be active and happy with your guild, or at least keep all the friends you've made with it!

Anonymous said...

don't worry about the beta key. Patch 3.0 will be on the PTRs soon, so you'll be able to test the new talents and many of the pets very soon...

Mirshalak said...

I opted in a bit back too, Pike. Didn't get an invite; although I should have known. I've been far too controversial on the forum and in the blog as well most likely for them to even consider me.

I've never been part of the in crowd, though; I realise that the main reason why I didn't get that guide finished for Brandon Sato is quite simply because I didn't want to. I didn't want that level of exposure.

LarĂ­sa said...

Oh I so totally understand you. I really wonder how guild leaders ever find time to play the game for themselves. It's just as lot of work as a leading position in real life. I'm convinced you'll get a lot of use of the experiences you've made during your time as a GM. In wow. And in RL.